Friday, December 28, 2012
It's also fairly obvious which character I connect with:
It's the guy on the far right. Can't you see the similarities between us?!!
I'm kidding of course, it's Joan. Duh.
She's strong, independent, professional, and not afraid to be harsh when she needs to be. She also always looks fucking gorgeous, I mean....wowza.
So who better to take inspiration from when I found myself going out for an evening of cocktails and live music? I based the hairstyle on some of her more recent looks in season 4/5 ala this kind of look:
First step of course was to wash my disgustingly greasy hair, blow dry it and then slap some hot rollers in it. As a general rule I don't use hot rollers since the curl falls out far too quickly for it look good for long but since this was going to be a semi-up do I thought it would work.
Step two was to let the rollers sit for about 2 hours, long enough to be totally cool and then I hairsprayed the shit out of it before taking them out.
Next up I teased the crown, rolled up the back in a series of soft pin curls, and then teased and swept over my bangs.
All that was needed next was a Joan-esque dress which was exactly what my sister gave me for Christmas, talk about your bizarre coincidences!!
I will now leave you with one of my favourite Joan clips.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
And when you look at the woman you can really only nod your head and agree, she always looks perfect. Be it on the red carpet, getting off a plane, or running everyday errands. Every hair is in place and her make-up is flawless. It's strange to think but as a burlesque performer there is a certain amount of expectation when it comes to being seen 'out and about', not on the level of Dita of course but there are times when I've felt a little bit of pressure to dress up should I go to a show/club where there could be potential clients or connections.
However, being glamorous "every day, every minute" is fucking exhausting. Hell I could barely do it every day at BHOF, plus part of me doesn't want to do it every day. That isn't to say that I like looking like shit every day because I don't, although I will say that the people at Starbucks and the guy at the 7-11 have seen me at my worst on more than one occasion. We're talking no make-up, freaky hair and bad clothing choices here people...but really, I'm only human right? Besides those random crap days though where I just really want a london fog and a ding dong I take a lot of pride in my appearance at work and in life, but I'm certainly not going to do show level of make-up every day for a few reasons.
One: My skin would hate me and probably explode.
Two: My co-workers would think I'm even weirder than they already do.
And three which is the most important reason: It would take something away from when I get to do show make-up. There's a certain amount of work and creativity that goes into my show look that not only makes me feel more prepared but is enjoyable. I enjoy the ritual of it, it's creation and glamour mixed together on my vanity. I have certain things that I like to do while I'm doing hair and make-up for a show, certain things that allow me to get into the right mind set for the night and if I were to do that every day it would become less special.
And again, it's a lot of work to look so polished and perfect. Don't believe me? I didn't think you would so I decided to document my make-up and hair process tonight so that you can see just how much work goes into all this glamour stuff.
Oh wait, that's just me without make-up on and my hair super greasy. Phew. I thought it was a Deep One or something....
So first we need to cover up that blotchy skin and adjust those eyebrows, so on goes a layer of foundation, powder and orange eye-shadow on my brows.
It's amazing isn't it? We went from THIS:
And all it took was a little make-up, hairspray, and invoking the Dark Lord and sacrificing twenty virgins to him. Wait....I didn't take a picture of that part did I?
Monday, November 19, 2012
Parts 4 and 5 to come next week!
Friday, October 19, 2012
That's right, this time we have guests over who are getting drunk and podcasting with us!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Event Listing: https://www.facebook.com/events/547970265218646/?fref=ts
Here are some very special behind the scenes footage to get you all jittery and excited for the show. It's of us during the photoshoot for the poster which was done by the fabulous Anathema Photography and Deadly Nightshade Makeup.
Melody and I getting beautiful
Mama and Crane discusses our choice of beverages
I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
All that blood, gore and beauty paid off, because here is the final shot.
Isn't it beautiful? I'm in love with it.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Such was the case with me in regards to Bastard Keith.
Bastard Keith was the host of the Sunday night closing ceremonies at BHoF this year and within the first five seconds of him being on stage I was his. It didn't hurt that he started the night out by performing 'Try a Little Tenderness', which is one of my favourite songs, but then he proceeded to be one of the most energetic and charming hosts I've ever seen.
When I returned home to Vancouver I promptly looked up everything I could on him and eventually found his blog 'Polo is My Life', and after reading every post I sent him an email requesting permission to link him off this site as well as the idea of doing an interview with me. He graciously agreed and after a lot of back and forth I am pleased to bring you my interview with Bastard Keith.
Voodoo: You're known as a quadruple threat: singer, host, performer, and writer. (Not to mention very snazzy dresser!) The first and most obvious question I have for you is how did you get into burlesque? Was being an emcee your goal, or did you just fall into it naturally over time?
Emceeing is an incredibly gratifying and difficult job, and, like burlesque, not just anyone can step on a stage and do it. Look, for instance, at the sheer iconic madness of Scotty the Blue Bunny; that's cultivated, curated and WORKED. But I think lots of people imagine they could step up there, make some dirty jokes and do it just as well. Scotty's developed his persona through a lot of hard work and road-testing, and his mind is a steel trap. He understands how much fun it is to watch someone think on their feet and triumph. The best emcees mix scripted material, a unique persona and the ability to process and react to nearly anything while keeping the wheels on the bus. They also need to know that the show is not about them.
Miss Astrid (another magically gifted emcee) put it best; in the cake, emcees are the eggs. We give structure and shape to an evening. Without structure, 90 minutes can feel like 3 hours. With great structure, 3 hours can feel like 10 minutes.
Voodoo: After seeing you perform at BHoF I was blown away by your vocal talents; your rendition of 'Try a Little Tenderness' has got to be one of the best I've heard so far. There are also a few other video clips of your singing performances floating around online. I was wondering what have been some of your favourite songs to perform so far? What songs are you looking forward to bringing to the stage in the future?
Bastard Keith: Well, I used to sing much more rock and pop. I loved singing Bowie's Ziggy Stardust and Golden Years. Revealed Burlesque (which Gigi LaFemme and Doc Wasabassco started up in 2007) started me on a path to old big band and jazz, which is the meat of my repertoire. My favorite FAVORITE is I'm Your Man, the Buble arrangement. Now I'm starting to love singing great Black soul, which is where the Otis thing came from. I see the old Atlantic R and B vocalists as the reigning gods of popular music, and I want to pay my respects.
Voodoo: I was greatly impressed with your blog entry, ' My Adventures in the World of Women: Being a Feminist Smut Peddler'. Can you talk a little bit about how that entry came into being?
Bastard Keith: Nothing mind-blowing; I just think men owe it to the world to be always growing and thinking and learning. Because holy shit, nearly every big problem in the world is the result of a privileged class (usually white heteronormative men) not examining and understanding their privilege. That piece was my attempt to explain and contextualize my growing understanding of my place in the world and my responsibilities. It's so EASY to just be a guy. We get paid more, we're at less risk socially, we're just cut a FUCKload of slack. Anyone who says otherwise is being deliberately ignorant, and they're part of the problem. Conservative thinkers like to imagine that all things are equal in this world, that we're all born with the same opportunities, that America is a straight-up meritocracy, that any advantage or disadvantage is born of the actions of the individual. This is foolishness. I'm delighted the blog resonated with people. I'm still learning every day, and I hope I never stop.
This quote in particular is brilliant, and with more and more men getting into boylesque and sharing backstage areas with the ladies I think it serves as a good reminder of backstage etiquette. As a performer, host, intelligent feminist, and man involved with burlesque can you give some of the new guys a few tips on how they should be conducting themselves should they want to stay in the scene?
Voodoo: I found a clip online of you doing a straight up striptease at the New York Boylesque Festival. Can you talk a little bit about the experience of going from host to striptease artist? Were you more nervous about your performance than usual?
Bastard Keith: It was terrifying. People tell me they don't know how I can go out in front of hundreds of people and wing it, confident that I'll get the laugh. But striptease artists are a thousand times braver than I am. My partner, Madame Rosebud, coached me up and made much of the costume. After watching the other performers tech their numbers, I thought I might find a reason to drop out. I seriously considered it. Or I considered coming up with an entirely new routine that played to my strengths. Like, right there, on the spot. I'm glad I didn't. But man, going after Mod Carousel was not easy. Those boys are cut. And they can DANCE. I'm only delighted I didn't totally degrade the night with my work.
Thank you so much Keith for putting up with my insistent emails about this interview, you're a patient and sweet man!
If you would like to be kept up to date about where and when Bastard Keith is performing I recommend his facebook page, or visiting his website where you can check out the Gig Calendar as well as see some great pictures and listen to a song track or two.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Start your fall season off right! In this episode we discuss some of the worst and best ghost movies, how people seem to like giving Voodoo free food, the joy of pumpkin spice lattes, and ghost stories we heard as children.
Plus lots of other random rambling bullshit.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Yes, I broke down and bought a Polaroid....call me a hipster, or artsty fartsy but I don't care. They're fun and make me look super pale so shush.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
So after some consideration about what kind of space person I wanted to be (last year I did Leeloo from 'the 5th Element') and a lot of links and babbling to a friend of mine I decided to do a sort of steam-punk look. My main inspiration was this girl, Kato, who was brought to my attention by a friend of mine (Hear that Graham? I blame you!) as well as some tribal bellydance looks that I saw at the event I helped host for my mother.
The basic idea was to do a tomboyish type of aviator chick so that I would be a good contrast to Mama's neo-Nazi Lady Gaga costume. We kept joking that if we were in a show together she would be the evil empire and I would be one of the rebels, which I think is a good little comparison.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
In which we discuss such random topics as BHoF, degrassi high, bad 90s fashion, and spooky books we used to read when we were young.
Also, a super huge shout out to the ever wonderful Steve and John Power Hour! This podcast is hilarious and you should all listen to it after you're done listening to ours.
Monday, May 21, 2012
No, it's not burlesque videos.
It's not even anything related to the season.
It's our Halloween baking adventures from last October! Oh yes, here you get to see me putter around in my fabulous kitchen with very little make-up on while wearing my pjs! FUCK YEAH.
Hope you enjoy!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
As some of you may or may not know, there is a special event that happens once a year down in Las Vegas. It's called the 'Burlesque Hall of Fame', of 'BHOF' and what this event is a four day celebration of Burlesque that features some of the biggest names in Burlesque from around the world. Basically everyone in the Burlesque community hops on a plane, meets in Las Vegas and we all hang out, perform and compete. The biggest competition is of course for the title of 'Miss Burlesque' which went to Miss Indigo Blue last year.
This year, Screaming Chickens is once again competing for 'Best Group' (we did this in 2010 before) and while I am super stoked and ecstatic about that I am going to talk about something a little more personal.
Like say, the fact that somehow, I managed to make it into the Thursday night 'Movers, Shakers, and Innovators' show.
????? I know right??!!!
What's really interesting and exciting for me is that I didn't make it in with one of my pretty numbers, or even one of my spooky ones, oh no....I made it in as my drag persona.
Hunter S. Johnson.
That's right bitches, Hunter will be going back to Vegas and this time he is taking the stage!
But that will be a whole blog post in itself (complete with pictures and video I promise, I plan on travelling as Hunter the day of), today I want to actually take a step back in time and share with you the origins of my favourite drag persona.
It was probably about a year or so into my Burlesque career, I was getting more comfortable as a performer and with the scene in general when the lovely Vava Vunderbust asked me to do a duet with her. The routine she wanted to do was an old one that she used to perform with a male friend of hers and she wanted to update it and bring it back for one of the summer Taboo shows. The concept was an easy one, a sexy car wash girl interacting with one of her male customers.
Sounds pretty cute, but what made the routine a great idea to me was the size difference between us and a small comment she made about her former partner wearing Hawaiian shirts and high socks. It was just sort of an off hand remark like 'he sort of dressed like Johnny Depp in that movie where he's bald, you know...fear and loathing.'
Ding! Light bulb moment!
I basically decided then that I wouldn't just do an outfit based on Hunter, oh no, I was going to try and actually create a Burlesque character that embodied him. So I watched Fear and Loathing a bunch of times, read some of the real Hunters work and then ran out to Value Village to find a suitable Hawaiian shirt.
This was the result.
There are a few things that I've learned since then, such as that chest hair on a bra doesn't always work and makes the gender swap and costume layers difficult unless done really right. Also, as a woman pretending to be a man it is more convincing if you wear boxers or a fake dick rather than 'manties'.
But all in all I'm still fond of that routine, even if you can see my pink hair under the hat and its fairly obvious that I'm a girl, especially if you look at my butt.
Since then though I've done many Hunter routines, there was a Viva Las Vegas group number where in I harassed a group of beautiful Vegas showgirls until they beat the crap out of me, another in which I go to the lovely Mama Fortuna for a little bit of pleasure and pain but wind up getting more than I bargained for, as well as cameos and other small solos.
I've also hosted a few Taboo Revues and Becoming Burlesque shows as Hunter which presents a variety of new challenges. The first and most obvious being my voice, it is very hard to sound like a man when you have a voice as shrill as mine. There were a few times during those shows that I tried to drop the levels of my voice and add a sort of rough man-like quality to it but I was told later that it had the opposite effect of what I wanted and that it made people less sure of my character than if I just talked in my normal pitch. So I've learned that rather than fight my pitch just go with it and instead try and get the inflections of Hunters speech patterns instead.
The other thing that I had to get used while hosting is standing and moving like Hunter for longer periods of time, which can be hard sometimes when you're used to standing with your back arched and your tits out. I managed to nail this habit after last years zombie walk, I went as a zombie version of Hunter and managed to make it the whole way through the walk moving and walking like him. My ankles were SO sore but it got me in perfect shape for our 2010 visit to BHOF where on one of the days we weren't performing a whole group of us Chickens went and run amok at Circus Circus, where I dressed and lived it up Hunter style!
What's interesting about doing drag and especially being Hunter is the positive feedback I get back from everyone, especially women. Women LOVE me as Hunter, which I can understand because I'm sleazy in a fun yet very safe way since there are no secret motives behind my lewd comments and raunchy humour. But I've also gotten a lot of positive feedback from male audience members and other boylesque performers, from flattering comments about how well I act like the character to discussions about guy clothes and how to take them off. (I've had numerous discussions with the lovely Blue Morris about sock garters and where to find awesome shoes.)
Now let's just hope that I can get as positive feedback from the people in Vegas as here in Vancouver, after all, I might be up against something like this at times........
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
This episode we catch up with one another and spend a lot of time rhapsodizing about the Paranormal Research Society.
Good news for next time - we've decided to upgrade our account, so that means future episodes will no longer be split into separate parts. I'm also going to work on getting us on iTunes. This whole 'podblogging' thing is a learning experience, that's for sure.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
While I'm not a huge fan of Valentines Day, I much prefer the day after which I call 'Discount Chocolate Day', I'm no longer one of those people who sneer or try and bring it down (I used to threaten to pass out chicken hearts in high-school). But in my old age I've softened, so if you want to buy someone you love a little something be my guest, I just hope you're smart enough to realize that you don't HAVE to just because Hallmark and Tiffany say so.
Anyways, besides all the gifts and romantic sentiment Valentines Day is also a day where people sit at home watching movies, be it sappy love stories or romantic comedies. Now, clearly I am not a fan of either so I thought I would give you all a list of alternative movies to watch on this love fest day.
#1 - Love Object
A while back I made my friend Monika watch this movie, thinking that she would find it as funny as I did.
Needless to say she didn't and she still holds it against me. However, should you be as demented as I am you will get a kick out of this tale about a man and his real doll. It features some great moments (the bondage scene cracks me up) and not only touches on the idea of making yourself happy, so to speak, but also the dangers of getting obsessed with people and wrapping the survival of your happiness in them.
#2 - May
I love May, it's a great little independent film that hits close to home in the way that at one point we've all been that shy, weird girl whom people ignore.
Or maybe that's just me.
Either way, a great little story about a girl who is just looking for the perfect friend and the lengths that she'll go to find, or make one.Added bonus, lots of songs from The Breeders.
#3 - Cherry Falls
Okay, this movie isn't actually that good but the idea is a hilarious one. A killer is going around the town of Cherry Falls killing all the virgins, so all the teens decide to have a massive sex party to not get killed. Kind of cute little idea that pokes fun at the whole 'if you have sex in a horror movie you will die' idea.
Also? Four magic words to get you to watch it: Jay Mohr in drag
#4 - Hannibal
People always look at me weird when I say that this is a romantic movie but if you think about it it's true. The relationship between Lecter and Clarice is an interesting one, based on mind games and the whole cat and mouse thing, and yet it's also very sweet in a way. I mean come on people, he cuts off his hand for her! How many of you can say that your boyfriend would be willing to do that?
#5 - Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love
Another good little indie film that takes the traditional zombie story and adds a little twist to it. After being bitten by a zombie on the hospital ward, shy little Nurse Patsy begins to change. But instead of becoming a shambling member of the undead she casts off her shy personality and becomes a flesh eating sex kitten. Another good example of female empowerment through horror, and also some good moments of male vs female power control within the work force.
#6 - Teeth
I saw this movie at the Dublin Horror Film Festival a few years back and fell in love with it, a clever little film that touches on abstinence, rape, body changes, masturbation and female empowerment in a upbeat and funny sort of way. You also get the added bonus of watching Hale Appleman make puppy dog eyes every time he's on screen.
#7 - Rosemary's Baby
I will admit that I can put this movie on any list, it's my absolute favorite. I love everything about it; the fashion, the sets, listening to Mia Farrow's voice.....total love.
But I'm mainly putting it on the list because no matter how much you might be in pain on Valentines Day, after having your heart broken, or feeling totally alone, well at least you're not having the Devil's baby. And at LEAST you're not dating/married to Guy, who is the slimiest coward ever to exist. I mean, he sells his wife out for an acting gig, is a total dick to her when he KNOWS she's having Satan's baby, plus he makes fun of her hair cut.
GO DIE GUY.
#8 - Candyman
Not necessarily a strong choice but it have some relation to candy (sweets to the sweet anyone?) but I think it still works. Or that might be because of my love for urban legends which this movie is full of, or it could be my love of Tony Todd and his incredible voice.
Either way it's a great movie, plus you get to listen to Phillip Glass' spooky soundtrack and see Ted Raimi try and be a biker bad-ass.
#9 - Bride of Chucky
He may not be the most realistic or scariest killer in the horror genre but I will always have a soft spot for Chucky. He's a sarcastic asshole who laughs maniacally when killing people, what's not to like? And in this film you not only get him but you also get Jennifer Tilly who is fucking adorable.
#10 - Dagon
I put this one on the list because nothing says Valentines Day like tentacle lovin!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
A while back I had the idea to do frequent posts about people I admire and/or inspire me, of course it slipped onto the back burner like so many of my ideas do due to work, performing and the podcast. However, Mama is horribly sick right now and can't really record anything so this is the perfect time for me to break it out and do a post.
Take THAT laziness!
Now there are a lot of people who inspire me and I'm sure I'll get around to all of them eventually but today I want to talk about someone who I don't normally mention because part of me is embarrassed by it. Not because of who the person is really, but because of what it implies. So I'm just going to come right out and admit it......
I like country music.Yup.
Now keep in mind I don't like a lot of new country music but I do like a lot of older stuff, stuff that I guess you could classify as country/blues or country/folk, either way though I do like the twang. I guess part of my hidden fondness for country is because of my mother. You see I grew up with two very different musical influences, on one hand I had my mother, who listened to country, David Bowie, George Michael and ABBA. On the other hand I had my father who listened to The Beatles, tons of jazz, blues, and classical. So I wound up with rather odd tastes in music as you can imagine.
I can remember many times being in the car with my mother and listening to Bonnie Raitt, Merle Haggard (old HAG as we called him) and of course, the woman I want to focus on today, Dolly Parton.
I love Dolly for a couple of reasons, for one she can really sing. Not in a sultry sexy way or in a hardcore kind of rock-chick way but her voice is very strong and clear, which isn't always what you want to hear but I like it.
Another reason I like her is because she is tiny, barely 5”1 without her heels on, and yet she has such a big personality about her. I find that inspiring because I'm 5 foot and when you're tiny like I am you have to find ways of getting people's attention and keeping it, this applies to both performing and at work. You see I work in a predominantly male based industry and it is a little strange to be someones boss and have to look up at them. Heels help a lot in this regard, because even if it doesn't make me as tall as my co-workers it still gives me a sense of authority. Although I will mention that I sometimes feel like Dolly in that scene in 'Straight Talk' where she has to walk through the library in stilettos, her heels clacking in the total silence....
Attitude is another thing that gets people's attention and Dolly seems to have a very genuine and sincere quality about her that comes through in her music, movies, and interviews. Not to mention anyone who has ever met her in person has said that she is a lovely person and really does seem to care. I like that, because despite my ability to be a total cut-throat bitch, I also like being kind to people and when I perform I'd like to give people the impression that I'm having a good time so they should too.
The last two reasons I like Dolly are for personal reasons, the first being that she grew up dirt poor. And while we didn't exactly grow up in a broken down shack we certainly didn't live in luxury. At one point me, my mother and sister all shared a giant bed because we lived in a one bedroom apartment and I can remember a few Christmases and birthdays where instead of getting a store bought toy we went down to Value Village and picked them out ourselves. Looking back at it now I'm glad we were raised that way, I'm sure a hell of a lot more humble about having money now and like to spread it around by buying people things or being able to help them out should they need it. After all, to quote Dolly, 'Money is made to be spent. What goods it doin' in the bottom of my panty drawer?'
The last reason is kind of silly but I love her giggle/laugh. Again it has that sincere and honest quality to it that is just too adorable, not to mention it's kind of higher pitched and loud. Something I can relate to....
I will leave you now with a few of my favourite Dolly clips:
The first is from "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas", the intro to the Whorehouse and I enjoy this clip mainly for skirt drop right at the beginning because I always have to do that with long dresses.
The last is clip from what I think was the short lived 'Dolly Parton Show' which my mother informs I would insist on watching every night before bed, in this clip she does a fashion show. Check out the crazy hair!
Ya'll come back now y'hear?